AS Alexiel


My life in writing

....and whatever that comes with it.

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Life is just.....wrong
Oh great..i can feel the waterworks coming...I think my life has just lost its zest and somehow i just can't see myself continue studying anymore (mom would totally slaughter me if she sees this).

I think the pressure of studying master of pharmacy is getting to me. And it doesn't help when one of the lecturer absolutely hates me (at least i think he does. A couple of friends say i'm too sensitive..and believe me when i'm say i'm not but one friend actually did feel the hate vibe coming from the lecturer).

First, he picked on me during the tutorial when I was online searching for more information about a case study he gave out during the tutorial (hey some people were on facebook and you don't see him picking on them! maybe it's because i'm asian and i look like a sourpuss and a stoner. I can't help it if i am what i am and i can't be miss perky and happy-smiley-face my entire life can i?! I'll shoot myself before that happens!)

And so i thought: okay fair enough. if he doesn't want me to be on the computer i won't be on the computer for the next tutorial then (so he won't have an excuse to pick on me and stuff and boy was i wrong!). During the 2nd tutorial, i decided to concentrate on my case study handout while listen to him at the same time. And the freak accused me of NOT PAYING ATTENTION!! Wtf! What more do you want from me, retarded bastard?! To look at you until my eyes popped out of their sockets?! Everyone else was looking at their handouts as well and why am i the only one getting singled out?! I told him politely that i was paying attention and he just shrugged.

Ok fine! I've made up my mind to forget the whole incident including the 1st one and move on but noooo...he has to bug me the 3rd time. Do i looked like i wanted to be bugged?! I hate the negative attention that he has been giving me and i think he feels it too. If he doesn't, then he must be emotionally retarded. So during the 3rd tutorial, i decided to sit all the way at the back. And guess what?! He came all the way to my desk to bug me! After that i still continued to sit all the way at the back. Screw him!

There were so many times that I was tempted to give him a nasty look but I just couldn't bring myself to dig my own grave. His unit is one of the nastiest subjects ever and the worst senario is making a teacher hate you even more and maybe to a point that he might just fail you. I just can't take another F in my transcript anymore. So far i've done a good job of dodging passes and getting a high distinction or distinction in all my subjects.

And get this: a biochemist teaching pharmacotherapeutics is just wrong on so many levels!! An ideal lecturer would be a pharmacist. My faculty is just THAT dodgy. My only consolation is that most of the people in my class hate him because they think he's not a good lecturer who keeps contradicting himself, from everything he said to the stuff that's written on the lecture notes. Having said that, there's no way to axe this lecturer from the school because the staff of the school of pharmacy is somewhat corrupted and sexist. There were female teachers before and they got axed because the male lecturers felt intimidated by them because they were just that good! Good for the women because eventually they ended up teaching in universities with better reputation but bad for us students because we get crappy teachers.

I just get so stressed out from seeing this asshole of a lecturer because he just gives me headaches and anxiety. And the worst part is i'll be seeing him for another whole year. T_T

My stress level is peaking and I have recurring neck pain and I really don't like this one bit. And I have another oral practice session tomorrow which i have studied for it but i felt that i could have done more.

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I just wish that we're close enough so we can hang out to relive your stress...
Looks like he's an asshole for picking a student like that.
I dunno what more to say but to give you a virtual hug. *hugs*

It is never easy when the lecturer has zoomed in on you for no reason. Just ignore the hate vibes and do what you have to for the subject.


(Deleted comment)
Thanks for the virtual hug! *hugs back*

Nah. dont worry about it! I passed his oral exam..just barely.(Though personally speaking, i knew i did very well)

I'm trying to pass his final exam, then i might just consider changing school. :)

D: Wth.. I never even have heard of a lecturer saying these kinds of things in college... he should totally leave you alone, what's his problem?! All that should matter is if you can pass his test. If you can learn just fine from the book and not his lecture, then why should you have to even show up? D: I hope they have professor rating websites for your school ...

I've been labelling him as a bitter old man who accumulated so much nicotine in his brain that clouded his sanity.

I pray that no one in my F-list gets this kind of lecturer if they go for further studies!

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